Also released as THE CRAWLING MONSTER and DANGEROUS CHARTERThe Drinking Game
- Drink whenever teenagers dance or make out
- Drink whenever someone is eaten by the carpet monster
- Drink whenever you actually hear someone speak in the film
The Movie
This week, DST3K gets back to its B&W sci-fi roots with THE CREEPING TERROR! If you haven't heard of it, don't worry; most people haven't. But while it doesn't get nearly the attention of, say, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE or ROBOT MONSTER, trust us that it is definitely a contender for "Worst Movie of All Time".
Its hilarious ineptness is due, in large part, to the fact that its director had little desire to make a movie and much desire to rob people blind. Arthur White was an exceedingly violent con man with a predilection for teenage girls who decided to capitalize on the drive-in sci-fi craze by telling people he was a big time producer and director and convincing them to invest money in his next film (this included not only the wealthy, but also plumbers and housewives who paid cash to have a shot at stardom). He spent a few days shooting footage before disappearing with the cash.
William Thourlby, the main financier, found the footage in White's abandoned apartment and finished principal photography with the help of cameraman Randy Starr. In a strange bit of overlap, THE CREEPING TERROR--like THE RAMRODDER--was shot at Spahn Ranch (where Manson family members were living as caretakers) and Starr gave Charles Manson the gun that he later used in the Tate Murders.
His shoddily made film in the can, Thourlby now had to figure out how to handle his sound problem. White hadn't recorded any on set, saying that dialogue would be dubbed in later, but with no money to record and sync a full soundtrack, Thourlby was forced to pay a local DJ record to record narration that TELLS you what people are saying, all while you watch their mouths move. For whatever reason, the narrator is fond of describing to you exactly what you're seeing ("The investigated the spacecraft" while you are quite clearly watching them look around the spacecraft) and at other times he disappears while people are silently talking to each other and you have no idea what the hell is going on. There are brief moments of dialogue, but the lip syncing is so Godzilla-movie bad that you're happy when the narrator kicks back in.
At this point, we might as well tell you what the movie is about: White (under the pseudonym Vic Savage) plays Martin, a newlywed man who--along with his bride--discovers a spaceship off a dirt road. Out comes an alien that is quite clearly a couple guys covered in carpets with some bits stuck on top, except that when it rears up you see a mouth that looks a lot like a vagina. Like, a lot a lot. Through this vagina the carpet eats (reverse births?), well, everyone: a teenagers, old folks, soldiers, the sheriff, an entire high school prom. Although this terror moves pretty slowly (you know, it creeps), people always seem powerless to get away. Bullets don't seem to stop it and, well... We won't ruin it for you.
Come make fun of it this Thursday!